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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Selsema Babi : Strategi Kapitalis Pasca Keruntuhan Sistem Kapitalisma


Sejak digemparkan dengan 'swine flu' atau selsema babi, dunia kini kucar kacir. Dari Mexico hingga ke Texas, wabak yang dijangka akan menjangkiti dunia ini terus merebak tanpa ada penawar atau vaksin yang sebenar untuk menghentikannya. Namun begitu, disebalik kucar kacir yang ditimbulkan oleh virus H1N1, ada beberapa persoalan yang harus dikaji secara mendalam tentang merebaknya virus H1N1 ini dan keterkaitannya dengan kerajaan kapitalis nombor 1 dunia yakni US, para kapitalis yang menaunginya serta konsep kapitalisma itu sendiri.

Sepertimana yang telah dibuktikan sejarah, setiap kali tersebar suatu wabak, maka akan ada pihak-pihak tertentu yang akan mengaut keuntungan sebanyak mungkin atas kematian orang lain. Kita pernah dengar tentang merebaknya selsema burung, SARS, HIV dan sebagainya. Acapkali kita digerunkan dengan statistik yang dikeluarkan oleh WHO sebagai badan dunia yang kononnya mengambil tahu soal kesihatan umat manusia. Namun, pernahkah kita mengkaji insiden-insiden disebalik setiap kejadian penyebaran suatu wabak, implikasinya terhadap ekonomi sesetengah negara dan kemungkinan-kemungkinan insiden yang berlaku ini didalangi?

Kita sering mendengar tohmahan kejahatan-kejahatan kaum muslimin yang mengangkat senjata sebagai pengganas yang cuba untuk menghancurkan dunia dengan apa yang dibawanya. Tidak kurang juga propaganda barat tentang bahayanya gerakan-gerakan yang cuba untuk menyatukan kaum muslimin diseluruh dunia dan diperintah oleh syariah. Namun, apabila suatu pandemik berlaku, dan dunia barat menjadi negara nombor satu yang mewar-warkan tentang bahaya pandemik dan akibatnya, kita lupa untuk mengkaji dengan mendalam, adakah mungkin mereka sendiri yang menjadi dalangnya?

Pada sesiapa yang berkesempatan untuk menyaksikan filem yang saya kira agak terkenal 1 masa dahulu iaitu V for Vendetta. Mengisahkan seorang anarkis, yang cuba untuk membongkarkan jenayah biologi yang direkayasa oleh kerajaan Britain satu ketika dahulu yang membabitkan Three Waters, penyebaran virus, lantas mewajibkan penduduk britain menerima suntikan vaksin serta kaitannya dengan berjayanya pilihanraya yang diadakan oleh parti pemerintah. Mungin ada benarnya. Masih teringat lagi soalan seorang inspektor penyiasat kepada rakannya yang berbunyi : Apabila aku melihat siri kejadian-kejadian yang berlaku...tidakkah kau rasa untuk mengetahui kebenarannya? Kawan kepada inspektor menjawab : ianya sudah terbukti bahawa pengganas yang melakukannya. Inspektor membalas : Mungkin. Tapi, inginkah kau mengetahui kebenaran yang sebenarnya? Apakah mungkin semua insiden yang berlaku ini, ada kaitan dengan seseorang dari dalam kerajaan kita? Atau apakah mungkin, segala yang berlaku, merupakan rekayasa kerajaan kita sendiri??

Segalanya ada kemungkinan. Terlalu awal untuk membuat kesimpulan. Namun, dari siri bukti-bukti sejarah, reaksi Obama dan pengkajian saintis serta bukti-bukti yang didapati dari kes sebelumnya, segalanya mungkin! Ketika selsema babi mengganas di US pada tahun 1976, manusia yang paling mendapat keuntungan diatas merebaknya wabak ini ialah Presiden Donald Rumsfeld, yang mana pada masa itu dia adalah CEO kepada syarikat Gilead Sciences Pharmaceutical. Syarikat yang bertanggungjawab untuk memproduksi vaksin kepada selsema babi ini. Syarikat ini berjaya mengaut keuntungan ber-million dollar dan saham syarikat ini pada masa itu melambung tinggi. Cerita ini bermula bila seorang tentera mati akibat daripada apa yang disyaki oleh pakar sebagai selsema babi pada tahun 1918. Sebagai alasan daripada insiden ini, Rumsfeld selaku Setiausaha Pertahanan berjaya melancarkan 1 kempen mempengaruhi rakyatnya bahawa pemerintahan US yang baru akan memastikan bahawa setiap lelaki, wanita dan kanak-kanak di Ameika akan diberikan vaksin. Pada masa itu, Kemenangan berpihak pada Gerard Ford dan dia berjaya menjadi presiden. Lantas, vaksin dicipta dan diedarkan diseluruh US sepantas kilat! Namun, program distribusi vaksin itu berhenti sebulan selepas tamatnya pilihanraya.

Dari segi keuntungan harga saham,Reuters telah menjalankan kajian dan mendapati bahawa sejak tersebarnya selsema babi, syer saham bagi syarikat Biocryst Pharmaceuticals melonjak sehingga 26% dan Novavax melonjak sehingga 75%, hasil daripada spekulasi yang menyatakan kemungkinan 2 syarikat gergasi ini akan menjadi pengeluar kepada vaksin selsema babi ini. Walaubagaimanapun, syarikat Baxter International Inc. mengesahkan bahawa mereka sedang bekerjasama dengan WHO untuk mengeluarkan vaksin bagi menghalang merebaknya virus ini. Syarikat ini telah berjaya untuk membina teknologi yang akan memungkinkan penciptaan vaksin virus ini dalam masa yang singkat. Jurucakap Baxter - Christopher Bona telahpun meminta sampel virus daripada WHO untuk menjalankan ujikasi makmal bagi mencipta vaksin yang berpotensi. 1 perkara yang cukup 'menarik' perhatian saintis dan pengkaji adalah, SEBULAN sebelum tercetusnya epidemik tersebut, Baxter telahpun menjalankan ujikajinya terhadap sampel virus tersebut!

Menurut Mike Adams, aktivis dan penulis NaturalNews.com, mitos tentang virus dicipta oleh pihak tertentu, menyebarkan virus tersebut dengan sengaja untuk mengakibatkan kucar kacir dan dalam masa yang sama mengaut keuntungan berlipat ganda adalah sebenarnya fakta yang telah berlaku dan sedang berlaku! Sepertimana yang telah dilaporkan oleh LifeGen.de -Deerfield, Illinois-Syarikat Baxter International Inc telah dibongkar kejahatannya apabila salah seorang pegawainya ditangkap sedang membuat penghantaran virus hidup selsema burung yang dicampur dengan perkakas vaksin kepada pembekal perubatan di 18 buah negara. "Kesilapan" ini dibongkar oleh National Microbiology Laboratory, Canada. Persoalannya, bagaimana perkara ini boleh berlaku? Jika dilihat dari sudut pandang yang berbeza, Baxter dilihat sebagai satu organisasi bio-terroris yng dengan sengaja menghantar virus ke seluruh dunia. Masakan mempertahankan tanahair dari cengkaman penjajah barat dan mempertahankan akidah dengan mengangkat senjata ketika diperangi dianggap pengganas, dan Baxter, yang semestinya didalangi oleh beberapa pemimpin dunia kapitalis terlepas walaupun ada buktinya?

Harus difahami bahawa Baxter International mempunyai satu kodifikasi keselamatan yang dinamakan BL3 iaitu (Biosafety Level 3). Dibawah BL3, Mereka yang terlibat secara langsung dalam menguruskan pathogen dan agen merbahaya, telah melelaui latihan yang spesifik dan dikawalselia oleh saintis yang berpengalaman. Semua ujikaji dijalankan dalam bekas keselamatan biologi ataupun sebarang alat fizikal, dan mereka yang terlibat diwajibkan memakai pemakaian yang bersesuaian dengan tahap keselamatan pengendalian pathogen dan agen merbahaya. Malah, makmal-makmal tersebut dilengkapi dengan ciri-ciri keselamatan yang tinggi. Jadi, dibawah kawalan BL3, ianya suatu perkara yang MUSTAHIL untuk virus selsema burung, mencemari pengeluaran bahan vaksin yang dipasarkan ke pembekal seluruh dunia.

Maka disini terjadi 2 kebarangkalian :

1. Baxter tidak mengikut kodifikasi BL3 yang menyebabkan virus tersebar diluar kawalan mereka

2. Ada pekerja mereka yang berkomplot untuk memusnahkan dunia dengan menyebarkan virus ini ke pembekal ke seluruh dunia.

Namun, kita harus faham bahawa penyebaran sesuatu virus, akan menyebabkan peningkatan dalam permintaan vaksin. 1 fakta yang tidak boleh disangkal bahawa memang ada corporations yang sanggup untuk membahayakan nyawa jutaan manusia atas kesempatan mengaut keuntungan. Dan 'sayangnya' corporations ini datangnya dari Amerika Syarikat, negara dambaan penguasa negara kaum muslimin.

Bagaimana pula dengan virus selsema babi ini? Menurut Mike Adams, suatu keanehan yang perlu diperhatikan apabila virus H1N1 ini bersifat hybrid atau percampuran. Daripada sumber yang beliau dapati, virus selsema babi ini terdiri daripada bahagian kodifikasi virus human influenza, selsema burung daripada America Utara, selsema babi daripada Eroah dan selsema babi daripada Asia! Bagaimana virus yang dibawa oleh burung dari Amerika Utara ini mampu berjangkit kepada babi di Eropah, kemudian bermutasi dan menjangkiti kembali burung tersebut, lalu ianya terbang dan menjangkiti pula babi di Asia dan kemudian virus itu bermutasi lagi menjadi virus yang mampu menjangkiti manusia, daripada babi di Asia lalu menjangkiti manusia di Mexico!! Sekali pandang, proses ini adalah suatu yang mampu berlaku secara alami. Namun, dek kerana butanya mata kerana wang, ianya suatu yang tidak mustahil, untuk ada campurtangan manusia dalam 'menjayakan' kewujudan H1N1 ini.

Ditambah pula dengan kenyataan daripada pegawai tinggi Amerika Syarikat seperti Fort Detrick, U.S. Army Medical Command dan Chad Jones, jurucakap Fort Meade yang mengsyaki akan keilangan sampel-sampel virus H1N1 daripada U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases.




Kehilangan sampel, penghantaran virus hidup dengan sengaja, peningkatan pembelian saham syarikat yang bertanggungjawab memproduksi vaksin dan mungkin pernyataan bersahaja Obama Presiden US yang terbaru bahawa statistik dan penyebaran wabak selsema babi ini tidak memerlukan perintah darurat namun perlu diberi perhatian yang terperinci, merupakan antara poin-poin penting dalam mengkaji semula keberadaan virus-virus yang melanda dunia masa kini.

Akibat daripada keruntuhan ekonomi kapitalis Amerika Syarikat, mungkinkah ini merupakan 'jalan keluar' bagi Amerika dan sekutunya dalam mendapatkan kembali pengaruhnya dimata dunia, dan dalam masa yang sama, mengaut sumber kewangan dari seluruh pelusuk dunia, akibat merebaknya virus yang merbahaya ini? Dalih yang pelbagai telahpun digunakan. Bush, pernah menggelar dirinya sebagai Bapa Peperangan. Telah berjaya dibuktikan bahawa 9/11 merupakan suatu pembohongan besar terhadap dunia sebagai alasan menduduki Iraq dan merampas hak-hak kaum muslimin. Tidak mustahil, akibat kebencian dunia terhadap Bush, maka pelobi-pelobi yahudi yang menguasai White House menggunakan Obama sebagai Bapa Virus dalam meneruskan hegemoni mereka terhadap dunia dan Islam. Terbukti bahawa sepanjang sejarah siri peperangan Amerika Syarikat terhadap musuh-musuh mereka, senjata biologi dan kimia seperti agent orange, tidak terkecuali daripada digunakan untuk memusnahkan musuh, yang membawa kepada kesan jangkasama panjang dan penderitaan yang tidak berkesudahan.




Adakah ini yang dikatakan sebagai an act of God? Ataupun terbit dari tangan-tangan kotor penguasa kapitalis, yang disokong penuh tanpa soal oleh penguasa negara kaum muslimin? Pada hari ini, epidemik ini sudahpun memasuki fasa 5. Mungkinkah apabila memasuki fasa 6 yang menunjukkan epidemik ini telah menjadi pandemik yang menguasai dunia, kita semua akan diperdaya oleh para kapitalis bangsat yang akan memaksa ke atas manusia penggunaan vaksin ciptaan mereka, mengaut keuntungan dan natijahnya, kita menjadi mereka yang 'bersyukur' kepada para kapitalis dan sekutunya........

Maka, apakah kesudahannya nasib umat manusia di dalam tangan para kapitalis kufur dan pembantu-pembantunya? Kita disajikan pembantaian, pencerobohan, kebuluran, kemelaratan, pandemik dan pengepungan dalam semua aspek kehidupan. Apakah kalian masih lagi ingin berdiam diri dan hanya berdoa, sebagai solusi kepada bukti kekejaman kufur dan sistemnya ? 85 tahun, umat manusia hilang institusi yang menjaga kebajikan mereka. Apakah kalian masih lagi ingin jadi pemerhati kepada kehancuran yang dipacu kejumudan kaum muslimin dan penguasanya?

fikir.....soal......

Friday, April 24, 2009

Scarlet : the beginning of the end



Scarlet : the beginning of the end

When we talk about life, things were not always thus. Things were not always end as what we expected. It goes to how you end up your life with your career now. It goes to how you end up your plans for the future and without exception, how it ends up your love relations and friendship. Back then, I didn’t hope for something between us. Just wondering how on earth this relation will end to be. We can never expect that we will have the marriage that we always wanted. We will never expect our vision would always be the same as 10 years ago. We would never expect how and who we turn to be, other than we expected. Every story has it end. At this chapter, it’s just the beginning how everything would really end. I did not expect to fall for someone from a far. And I did not expect that things will go ‘this’ way, as you will understand it when you read further of what I’ve written below. Not like a bolly nor Hollywood story where things will always be ‘heroes always win the battle’. Stories, histories, aren’t told only about winning the battle. Sometimes it acts as guidance. Sometimes loosing a bit, was part of winning the big. I’ve been through the process. Falling and failing for the 8th time recently. Frustrated? Sorrow? Those, I believe are words of failures and confusion. Life goes on. People come and go. People live and die. Giving up and suicide? Out of the context. Life is hell, and beautiful. It’s hell when you make one. It’s beautiful when you make one. Is it fair just to be beautiful just between the lovers and hell for others? That’s selfish. Why not, making the world beautiful for all f us? It is worth to enjoy the beauty of life just the two of you? Or is it heavenly beautiful to make life, a beauty enjoyed amongst all? We can choose to be selfish. We can choose to be those who struggle for others. Pain of struggling for others, are the virtues of beauty shared amongst others that need. Joy of ignorance, are virtues of suffering. As people, we’re often confused with joy and pain. Looking the world around us from our own ego-centric individualistic views, brought us joy. But looking ad understanding the world from a crystallized view, resulted to pain that needs an end. Thus, before crystallizing, eliminate the confusions. It’s the key to the gate.

Ameera, as a character I’ve known, was a manifestation of confusion. Probably until now, wandering searching for the truth, at the same time, denying the truth upon her. I can’t blame her for things happened. It’s the system that fails to protect what’s right or wrong. The system of capitalism, for instance, only act as governing the materials provided to the people, left alone the aspect of spiritual in each one of them as individuals and yet, failed to integrate the understanding of life’s relation with the truth. All that matters was the end product, workers, maximum profit and so on. So there are thousands of confused and lonely souls. Lonely by means they’re lonely inside. Loners in the crowd. Including Ameera, the one I loved once.

During the process of knowing each other, we’ve managed to find a channel for us to hang out, a meet up place. I was introduce to a channel named KAFAN and there I was. Making friends with metallers locally. KAFAN was a channel where people that share the same interest in metal music. I remember the founder was Lee KingKafan from Terengganu, and lots of unique nicknames in the channel. Names such as ASADRA, lobe, inthewood, BLAKKHEIM, Pogie, Kafanaz, Blackdeathmetal, EvilPrincess, and names that I hardly remembered. A circle of friends wandering the net, chatting about music and share the same interest. I don’t know what happened to KAFAN now. Went there back there few months ago and non of the old-timers there. During those days, most of us were students and teenagers. That was 11 years ago. We met there and chat, and I introduced her to some of my friends there so that she can make friends and feel welcomed to the KAFAN family.

As time goes by, 1 day I was approached by a nickname Zachary. A guy from nowhere claimed to be her boyfriend. Stunned, though try to act cool, I cant accept that she’s with someone until now. I cant remember the details of our conversation. But 1 thing I remembered was he warned me to leave Ameera for good.

Tagtgren : Are u malay?

Zachary : No I’m not.

Tagtgren : Muslim?

Zachary : No.

Tagtgren : Then?

Zachary : I’m not with a race nor a religion

Tagtgren : Owh come on give me a break. Then what are you?

Zachary : Look, I’m gonna set things straight here. Just leave ameera alone. Ok? She’s mine. You know where she is and where she studied. So am i. 1 day I’m gonna take her to a place where you will never find her again, not in real nor in this IRC stuff. We’re going to get married and we’re gonna raise kids without race nor religion.

Tagtgren : Whats your name again?

Zachary : Zachary Daniel. I warned u. I know where you live man. Don’t force me to come right to your door step. You’re staying in kulim right? You still have your family right? Think about them. You choose. Ameera or your family.

quit –

Then this guy went to the public chat in KAFAN and stayed there. Pretending nothing happened. I told a friend of mine, POGIE. Noticing there’s someone inside the channel trying to blackmail me. POGIE warned this guy and I remembered his words in the public

POGIE : To Zachary, I don’t know who you are and where you came from. But if you’re trying to mess up with anyone inside this channel, you’re messing the wrong place man. Get out or lets meet. I’LL WAIT YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT IN MY HAND!!

That goes. I was there to chat with her and I end up meeting an atheist acting like a mob, warning me as I’ve done something wrong. If I knew all this while that she belongs to someone, I wouldn’t be so dumb to fall in love with her. Not my style taking what’s others. I admit, his words make me shattered. How in the world he got to know where I’m staying? Or it’s just someone trying to fool around. I can’t tell. I can just wait for her call to confirm everything.



That night she called. As expected, she would call. But its unexpected that she would start the conversation by crying. Crying like a child.

Tagtgren : Hey, whats wrong?

Ameera: You met him in the IRC right?

Tagtgren : Yeah. Who the hell is he anyway? You never told me you had a boyfriend,still.

Ameera : Why should i? He’s not my boyfriend!!

Tagtgren : Hah! He’s not your boyfriend, came out of nowhere and warned me as if he’s going to do something to me and my family?? Come on. Tell me. Don’t play games ok??

Ameera : He was my ex-boyfriend.

Tagtgren : Wait, wait. I’m confused here. He’s your ex. Where is he now? And how the heck he got to know where I’m staying?? Tell me from the start.

Ameera : I was with him before I moved to US. At that time he was 18 and I was 16. I loved him so much. He took care of me when my family was all scattered. I’m happy with him once. He’s my first love and I gave him all of me. He even kept the bed sheet where we first make love. When I moved down to US, He started to ignore me. I know he loved me but he likes to fool around with other girls. I cant take that. I thought we’re finished. That was 4 years ago you know.

Tagtgren : Yeah finished, and in a sudden, came out from nowhere and warned me bout you. That’s something.

Ameera. He’s rich you know. His father is a minister at you place back then. I cant remember his name. He’s the leader of a gang named Chicago Bears. The jerks like to rape girls at the back of their car. After clubbing, they’ll give some sleeping pills to the girls and gang rapes them.

Tagtgren : Well, that’s something ‘pleasant’ to hear. And how come he gets to know where I’m staying?

Ameera : He’s good in finding information. Maybe he got your address out of your ip address or something. I don’t know. Maybe his right hand man helped him.(I cant recall his name now)

Tagtgren : Owh boy. That’s something! What are you guys up to?? I doubt that all of these was just a trick or something. I’m being nice to you and now this?? Come on ameera. What is this?

Ameera : I’ve got nothing to do with this ok??!! Trust me! Sorry for getting you into this. Maybe we should end this! We shouldn’t have met at the first place!!

Tagtgren : Sorry.

Ameera : Not as sorry as I am. You should be careful. He’s screwed up. I’m worried he’d find you.

Tagtgren : It’s ok. Don’t worry bout me. I’ll be fine. I’ll take bout this with my friends. Maybe they’ll figure something out.

The next day I hang out with my friends. Band members of woebegonic zephyr. I brought up this matter. It concerns them.

Joe : I told you not to get into trouble.

Tagtgren : Hey, I did nothing ok. It’s all ok until this Zachary thing came out from nowhere.

Yusdi : You’re right. It’s not like you knew she belongs to someone and take her on purpose. Don’t worry man. He’s just trying to scare you off. If he did turn his face here, hey, it’s our place man. He wouldn’t dare to do anything here.

Tagtgren : I guess so.

Joe : You’re weird! There’s thousands of girls here in Malaysia, and you end up in love with someone from the other continent!! Hahahah.

Tagtgren : Weird it is man. Weird it is. Hahahaha. So, what’s our next playlist?

Sura : Guess we can start with our songs of tradition – still burning fire (pyogenesis), drowned maid (amorphis), from our own demo would be Fountain of Andalusia, Allegoric Rose in Malice, Darkfield, Of Earth and Thunder and closing is drown together (sentenced).

Yusdi : Hey!! You forgot my favourite song there!!!

Sura : What??

Yusdi : Majestic Tears!!! Arghhh.

Sura : Haha. Yeah yeah. Majestic tears.

That conversation ended my worries for a while. I don’t know what will happen next. I just hope that everything will be just fine. Reality? There are more things waiting up front. Yes. It’s the beginning of the end. To be continued…….

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Scarlet memories of mine


Well. I think its time for me to continue back the story of someone that shares with me a lot about life and its content, on the other part of the world.Someone that i fall in love once. From Missouri, to Malaysia, seems quite impossible for a story to begin. Yet, nothing is impossible by the wills of The Almighty.

We had many conversations going on. From one night to another, we become fond to each other. We're attracted to each other by our differences, culture and way of life. We exchange thoughts and stories about life, music and stuffs. As always, she called me during odd hours. From there, i learned to gain my confidence in speaking english, though i know there are tons of grammatical errors. The heck. I don't bother much. I enjoyed learning indirectly rather than going to class and struggle half of your life in mastering english.As long as it serve the purpose of conversing and exchanging ideas, i think that would do.

She told me bout her friends there from malaysia. some of them that i hardly remember....such as zetty, rusty, and a snobbish couple ( seems like i've 'lost' their name then). her x-boyfriend zachary daniel and some other characters that i cant recall their names.Well, this story actually falls back during 1998...so i guess its past 12 years now...who can exactly remember the details of their life after 12 years right?

Zetty, a pious girl. She loves to recite a surah or ayat everyday. Which somehow attracts Ameera. Which somehow reminds her of her past. Through Zetty, she learned to recall her memories os herself being a muslim. She can now recite al-ikhlas...though like a child.

Rusty. Nice guy. I chatted with him once. just a short while. He said 'Owh, so you're the one that Ameera's been talking about here. Man, you're lucky!!! Few guys here are pushing their buts off just trying to get to her. Man, i wonder how you can get to 'hold' her though you guys never met and hell far away from each other'. I just dont know rusty. i just cant tell. well, at this moment of 2009, i wonder where are you now.

Snobbish couple. This couple, somehow annoys Ameera in everysingle thing. From Ameera, seems like the girls is jealous since Ameera always get to score in exams and assignments whereas the boyfriend, took her as girlfriend since he's deeply frustrated not able to get Ameera for himself. So its like this girl is just a replacement to show that now he's happy. Something like that. I can still recall it when Ameera let me listen to a handsfree conversation between Ameera and that snobbish boyfriend. He speaks brit slang and you have to know that the americans hated brits, their culture and their slangs. So while that guy's talking to Ameera with that brit slang, i heard Ameera said 'Stop using that slang. Stop it. Your brits this and that'. I cant remember the details of their conversation through the phone.

Then i remembered a character that cursed her while she's smoking outside on her yard. A guy with a religious look, with serban and beard...suddenly came to her and said 'You are going to hell. You smoking girl and dressed up with shorts".... And one day she asked me..Why are there various type of muslims? That guy is so annoying, just came to me and curse me like hell...and you, brought a different impression about Islam. Quite stunned. At that point, I said that Islam...has nothing to do with how their believers react. Some may act religiously, but not a true muslim. Some may look like not that pious, but really understand Islam and applied Islam in all aspects of life.

Series of incidents happened back then. And all that i can get to feel the incidents...not by seeing them...but only by listening through the phone all night long to what she had to share. ! night i remembered that she endlessly cried coz she got news that Zetty's been raped while she's waiting for a friend in her own car. And she's completely lost herself. Just by listening, i dont know how i can help. I dont know what to do. Jst by asking her to stay calm and leave everything to the police(like if they can help either...which we knew that they wont)At that very point, I came across to think, when was the last time rape cases been solved by the police? Or solving cases by the authorities are privileges for the elitist? People murdered, raped and taken their rights, brought upon the authorities, hence nothing can be done. Or just ‘sometimes’. Its either if the case is too easy for them to crack it, it might help. But among thousands of rape cases, who would care?? Who would possibly care? Or its just what we call it ‘destiny’….to rape and to be raped. I cant tell. I imagined if Zetty, was my sister. I don’t know how to react. In a world that people are fond to individualistic values. I can only imagine how pious person like her would face the reality. I heard Ameera said that she’d lost everything. Even lost her will to live. At this point, I hope that wherever Zetty is right now, I hope she’s been a better and a stronger person.

As readers might notice, most of the stories, I recalled it during the night. Sure thing. She called me every night. So for me, the story took place every night. Ameera, calling her name makes me feel something. Sometimes makes me question, if what happened through our relationship was real. Or she’s just another fake from the IRC chatting world. I cant tell. Only trust. It took me few years thinking if I should put this story of mine to public, or just let it die with me. Would this story share some morale or just another story after another story as part of life’s manifestation. You decide.

I remembered that 1 day we discussed bout Christianity. She wondered if Christianity is a true holy religion, why most of exorcism and paranormal disturbances, mostly happens in churches and cathedrals. Well, I know the answer. Triggering the thoughts into questioning is one thing. Realizing the ‘true belief’ is one thing. It never came across my mind that even in the west, there are such disturbances. We know normally disturbances and paranormal activities mostly happens in Asia since Asians love paranormal activities and still believe in paranormal activities or exorcism. She told me once that she move into a new house and the house itself was spooky and unexplainable things happening around. As for being a pious person, Zetty, her nature and love in reading the Quran, makes the place that they’re renting, at ‘peace’. “She hangs around the house those curvy wordings from the Quran. I’m glad I’m stayin with her”. She’d even ask me 1 thing that I still can remember it till today. “Why each time when I hear Azan or Zetty reading the Quran, I felt in total peace. Sometimes i cant stand the feelings inside, I cried. Why??” Once she was a muslim. That explains. Denying the truth will somehow shatter you inside. The truth will somehow breaks you when you’re in astray. The call from the truth will somehow makes you think again of the life you’re living now. The truth disturbs. It disturbs the dark inside so that there will be light, even a glimpse of it. No power on earth can deny the light. I told her that once she was a muslim. And its undeniable after years of living in hedonism, even a pagan would find ‘something’ to worship upon. “and you’re a muslim once. Its natural that people worship. You were presented with the truth. After years of denial, it came back to give you a warm call. Accept that ‘call’. “ I guess so” she replied.

Maybe in the next post, I’ll try to crack my memories out about the beginning of the unexpected end of this whole memories. Scarlet memories of mine.